Why Thailand?
Thailand’s reputation as a holiday paradise and exotic, colourful, and freewheeling country is well deserved. Yet it is also becoming a popular destination for those seeking to find a new life in sunnier climes. The Thai economy has grown rapidly over the last twenty years and the new government of Prime Minister Yingluk Shinawatra is heavily promoting Thailand as the business hub of Southeast Asia. The effects of the economic crash of the late 1990s are still felt to this day and consequently property can be real bargain. As the economy recovers, business opportunities abound for the astute and well-informed investor. New visa rights have made it easier to retire to the Land of Smiles and government-sponsored projects are quickly creating the infrastructure for a comfortable sun-soaked retirement. Add to this an increasingly sophisticated, modernising culture,fantastic scenery, cheap shopping, wonderful food, and nightlife that is unsurpassed, and it is little wonder that Thailand is becoming one of the world’s most popular destinations for the long-term expatriate.
These guides are intended to be of particular interest to readers who are seriously considering moving to Thailand for a prolonged period, or perhaps for the rest of their lives, as well as providing an insight into expatriate living for the curious visitor. Its contents focus less upon the sort of information usually found in the popular tourist guides and more upon the practical realities of moving to and successfully living in the Land of Smiles. Thailand is a wonderful place to live, but a move to the country is not without it’s attendant difficulties. These guides therefore aim book aim to help the reader and buyer achieve a smooth transition to a new life in the Kingdom.

There are many reasons why people move to Thailand. One of the main reasons is the low cost of living. It is possible to live very comfortably in Thailand on less than $1000 per month and many choose to retire to the country in order to make their retirement income stretch that little bit further. Those who are on a relatively low income in the west can have a larger house and domestic staff for the same money in Thailand.

Another reason for people wanting to go and live in Thailand is the laid-back lifestyle. Choosing a rural or tourist area is the preferred option for those looking for a different way of life and areas such as Phuket. The Thai culture is one that is very peaceful and relaxed and offers an escape from a busier way of life in the west. The crime rate in Thailand is relatively low and there are very few instances of serious crimes involving expats.

There are many expats that move to Thailand each year to start their own business. One of the reasons for this is that hiring staff is reasonably cheap and renting offices and paying for utilities will also not break the bank. Businesses are not really restricted in any way and the opportunities are there for those who want to work hard and achieve success.

While there are some areas of Thailand in which it would be difficult to obtain everything that you could in the west, in areas such as Bangkok you can find everything that you need, from western supermarkets to broadband internet, so your quality of life does not need to change when you move to Thailand.

The infrastructure of the country is relatively good when compared with some other Asian countries. It is only roads in remote areas that are not in good condition and it is possible to get almost anywhere in the country by public transport. Travelling around the country is very cheap so those who want to see something of this part of the world can do so without spending a lot of money.

Despite the image that Thailand has had in the past, it is not a third world country and aspects of life there such as education and health are just as good quality as they are in some western countries.

Expats are generally made very welcome in Thailand. The laws in the country are very strict and anyone who does not show respect to the country or the monarchy there will soon find themselves on a plane home. The Thai culture is one in which people have been brought up to respect others and this includes those from other countries. As already mentioned, there are few instances of serious crime against expats and the people are naturally very friendly. It has long been the country’s policy to make immigrants welcome.

Thai Culture
Thai culture is complex, fascinating, and steeped in tradition. About 80% of all Thais are connected in some way with agriculture, which (in varying degrees) influences and is influenced by the
religious ceremonies and festivals that help make Thailand such a distinctive country. Anyone contemplating a permanent move to Thailand will need a basic understanding of the make-up of
Thai culture. The following pages provide a mere snapshot but will hopefully serve as a good starting point for further investigation.

The Three Pillars Of Thai Culture – Buddhism, Royalty, Family

To many, Thailand seems an anarchic, freewheeling country, where relationships are quickly made and broken and life is taken one day at a time. On the surface, this is true, but there is solid
bedrock upon which the entire culture of the nation stands – the Buddhist religion, Royalty, and the family. You may hear these aspects of Thai culture referred to as the “glue” that binds the Thai
people together. For a Thai, no loyalty, whether to a political cause, ethical belief, or person, will supersede these “pillars”.

The Sangha – Buddhism In Action
Buddhist monks enjoy the highest status in the Thai social hierarchy. Thai Buddhism’s supreme ruling body, the Sangha, is separated from the state and The Thai Constitution guarantees its
status as an independent body. The King, as head of the state, appoints the Sangharacha, the Supreme Patriarch of the Sangha. The King’s legitimacy is in turn approved through the rituals
performed by the Sangha during the Coronation Day and through yearly rituals and ceremonies.
According to the Thai constitution, the King is the protector of Buddhism, and is a devout Buddhist. The Thai form of Buddhism is a modification of Theravada Buddhism, sometimes called Lankavamsa
(meaning Singhalese or Sri Lankan lineage) because it was introduced to the 13th century Sukhothai Kingdom by monks from Sri Lanka. This form of Buddhism grew as the Sukhothai Kingdom expanded
over Northern and Central Thailand. However, Ayudhaya in central Thailand grew into a powerful kingdom, and eventually annexed Sukhothai in 1376. The Thai Kings of Ayudhaya made conquests
over areas of central Thailand formerly held by the Khmer empire, which had been practicing a blend of Buddhism and Hinduism much more akin to the Mahayana form of Buddhism practiced in
Nepal, China and Vietnam, than to the Sri Lankan form. The Ayudhaya kings incorporated many of these beliefs into the Buddhism they had inherited from Sukhothai. This has had a lasting effect on
Thai Buddhism to this day, and while the core teachings of Thai Buddhism remain true to the Theravada teachings, ceremonies, temple architecture and artistic forms reflect the Mahayana
form to such an extent that Thai Buddhism is viewed as a blend of the two forms. Traditionally, local life is centred on the Buddhist temple (the Wat). All rituals concerning birth and
death take place in the Wat. It also functions as a centre for education, ordination, social gatherings, and in all-important religious ceremonies and festivals, as well as local social welfare. It is a place
where rich and poor and people of different social and economic statuses worship together and socialise. At the local level, the Abbot or Chao Avas is the head of the Wat and is responsible for all
the ritual ceremonies, and all the property that belongs to the Wat. It is traditional that every man should enter the monkshood at least once in his life, for a period of at least three months. Most
Thai Buddhists will refer major life decisions, including marriage, business transactions and even babies’ names, the monks to decide the most propitious date or the best course of action.
Most students of Thai Buddhism agree that it is neutral to economic development. It does not motivate people to the accumulation of wealth. A person’s fate is determined by their karma. One
way to improve karma is through merit making. The person works not only to live but also to be able to make merit. Part of the income even of poor farmers will be spent on making merit,
particularly by donating to the Wat. Wealth accumulation is not just for economic security. People make merit by donating money to the Wat in the hope that their position in society will become
better, if not in this life perhaps the next life. Associated with the belief in Buddhism is the worship of spirits (“Pi”), especially prevalent in the
villages of northeast Thailand, but seen everywhere in the country. Every building has it’s own “spirit house” outside, garlanded with flowers, where offerings to the spirits are made every day.
It is extremely unlucky for a spirit house to be disturbed from its original position and it should not be touched except when making offerings. Most Thai people are very superstitious; fortune tellers,
astrologists, and palm readers can be found in every small village. A detailed and entertaining description of Thai Buddhism in action is available at:
http://www.dhammathai.org/main/open_eng1.html


The Royal Family
Thailand’s constitutional monarchy places HM King Bumiphol Adulyadej, the world’s longest reigning monarch, as the Head of State, Commander In Chief of the Armed Forces and “Father Of The
Nation”. Whilst largely a ceremonial role, HM The King and his family are very active in promoting the well-being of the Thai people by instigating and supporting a variety of projects, mostly
focussed on agricultural, community and environmental issues, known as “Royal Development Projects”. HM The King is ably supported by HM Queen Sirikit, heir to the throne HRH Crown Prince
Maha Vajiralongkorn, HRH Princess Ubol Ratana, HRH Princess Maha Chakri Sirindhorn, and HRH Princess Chulabhorn. The Royal Family rarely involve themselves in day-to-day politics, but memories
of HM The King’s intervention in 1992 to bring to an end the serious political crisis of the time are still fresh. This is the strongest indication that the Royal Family, with the Buddhist religion and the
family, is the ‘glue’ that holds Thai society together. Their influence in Thai affairs cannot be underestimated. For a comprehensive description of the Royal Family and its activities, visit the
Thai Government Public Relations Department’s Website:
http://www.thaimain.org/eng/monarchy/family.html
At the risk of stating the well known, it should be said that Thai people hold the Royal Family in the highest esteem, and members of the Royal Family are to be shown the utmost deference and
respect at all times. The Thai people genuinely love their Royal Family and this should always be borne in mind. Ridiculing or abusing the Royal Family is an extremely grave (not to say unwarranted)
act and must be avoided at all costs. Thailand has an active and enforceable lese majeste law, and severe punishments, including jail terms of between three and fifteen years can be meted out.
Purposely tearing or destroying Thai bank notes, which carry an image of the King, may be considered such an offence. Other seemingly harmless acts, such as thumping a postage stamp bearing the
King’s image with a clenched fist to affix it to an envelope, or pointing with your finger at a portrait of the King, could also be construed as lese majeste. Thai people are generally tolerant and if they
perceive that your actions are caused by an ignorance of the local customs, you are likely to be politely informed that you have committed a social blunder, in which case a simple apology will
suffice. However, should you find yourself in a public situation where you are perceived to have been deliberately disrespectful to the Royal Family, the threat of physical violence will be very real.
Whilst not wishing to alarm the reader, it is imperative that no disrespect to the Royal Family, under any circumstances, is displayed. In practice it is very unusual for a foreign national to be
charged with lese majeste, since thankfully there are many warnings in Thailand about this and the vast majority of people are sensible enough to follow the guidelines.
In many small towns and villages and certain areas in the large urban centres, the National Anthem is played over loudspeakers at eight o’clock in the morning and six o’clock in the evening.
The anthem was written by HM The King and is revered. Thais will stop walking or working during the anthem and stand to attention, and it is wise for visitors to do likewise. The National Anthem
is also played before cultural and sporting events, and before theatre and cinema performances, and standing while the anthem is being played is obligatory.



The Family
After Buddhism and the Royal Family, the Thai family is the most important part of Thai society and the basic economic and social unit. Thailand has little in the way of a welfare state and this is in large part due to the importance that Thai people place upon family ties. The family unit is the
Thai welfare state, providing the emotional and financial support structure in times of hardship.The typical Thai family is extremely hierarchical. Parents and other elders are afforded deep
respect by their younger relatives and it is very rare that a Thai would go against their parents’ wishes. Elder relatives have a great deal of influence in family decision-making, to the extent that
a Thai wishing to marry must gain not only parental approval but also that of grandparents, aunts,uncles, and older brothers and sisters. Generally, the husband and father is the head of the
household and will make all major decisions. However, the wife and mother can possess a considerable amount of influence. A popular Thai expression is that the husband and wife are like
the four legs of an elephant, the husband representing the front two legs and the wife the back two, but without both the elephant could not walk. Thai people are fiercely loyal to their families
and will support family members to the hilt in times of difficulty. It is not overstating the case to say that the Thai believes in “My family, right or wrong”.
Anyone contemplating marrying or otherwise forming a long-term relationship with a Thai should understand that the Thai’s first loyalty will always be to his or her family. The Thai will view the
union as an extension of their already existing family structure and as a member of it you will be fully expected to take your proper place in its hierarchy. This will mean deference to elders,
responsibility for, caring for and supporting the younger family members (including financial support), and placing the needs of the family at the forefront of decision-making. Some find this to be a
restrictive and burdensome situation and indeed it is the cause of much of the friction in Thai / foreigner marriages. Some unscrupulous Thais will use the supposed needs of their family to
extract money from their spouses. There are horror stories about this, but it must be stated that while there are many unwitting foreigners who are subjected to fleecing campaigns organised by
the entire family of their spouse, there are others who marry into families where the rewards of fulfilling their appointed role are that they are welcomed into the bosom of the family and treated
with respect. The point to remember is that if you marry a Thai, you marry their entire family as well. Thais will very often request time off from work into order to attend to “family business”. In fact,
the Labour Relations Act of 1998 actually specifies this as a legal right that employer cannot reasonably refuse. Employers are generally flexible about this provided it is not taken advantage
of.

Social Hierarchy
Thai society is very hierarchical and much respect is given to persons of ‘high rank’. When meeting for the first time, Thais will interrogate each other at length about their age, origins, family,
education, and work, in order to establish their relative social positions. This hierarchy and the social codes it produces are a key part of Thai culture.
Monks are the most respected of all individuals, together with the Royal Family, those distantly related to it and members of the Royal Household, including members of the Privy Council and
similar “elder statesmen. Individuals who have been awarded royal awards and titles (for example “Thanphuying”, equivalent to a British Dame) also belong to this group. The very old are afforded
the highest degree of respect and deference. National politicians, senior civil servants, and highranking military and police officials are shown the deference that goes with their posts. Leading
executives and the very wealthy are similarly respected. This order then descends to the provincial,city, and local level. Thailand introduced a system of family names only as recently as the 1920’s.
Only those families who were part of the royal and political power structures of the time had family names. Thais are quick to recognise that an individual with a certain family name comes from “old
family” and is accordingly given greater respect. Education also plays a significant role in the social hierarchy, with recognised experts, doctors, professors, and teachers being afforded a high
status, both within the workplace and the community at large.Thai social hierarchy is not so very different to that found in other societies. The major difference
is that the hierarchy is quite rigidly imposed, although in urban centres there are some signs of a more egalitarian approach. Because of the extended family nature of Thai society, most Thai people will have a relative or at least a friend that falls into one of the higher strata.


Thai Etiquette
This section provides an overview of the complexities of Thai society. Anyone moving to the Kingdom will need a basic understanding of the social mores of the culture to make the transition
smoothly. Ten of the most forceful factors that govern Thai peoples’ relationships and their way of seeing the world are described below. These are naturally generalisations and not every individual
will strictly adhere to these rules, but they should serve to give the reader a flavour of the Thai way of living. The highly complex rules of communication described below are applied in a very friendly,
warm, and easygoing way. The uninitiated will not tune into the vast majority of these rules as they are communicated in very subtle and understated ways. The important thing to remember is
to enjoy the warmth, friendliness, and love of life of Thai people at the same time as being respectful of the customs that govern Thai etiquette.

1) “Nam Jai” (Community Spirit)
The close-knit nature of Thai society has the concept of community spirit at its core. Closely bound with both the local temple, which actively promotes and supports a sense of community, and fierce
national and cultural pride, Thais have a deep sense of community loyalty (although in the cities this is slowly being eroded). “Nam jai”, literally meaning “water of the heart”, is a central teaching
of Thai Buddhism. It instructs followers to aid and assist their family, their neighbours, and their village, and to be kind, considerate, and hospitable to strangers. This hospitality is one of the
principal reasons why Thailand has such a successful tourism industry and it should not be underestimated – “nam jai” demands that a stranger is treated as a guest.

2) Face
“Face” is a very important part of the way that Thai people communicate with each other. A Thai will go to great lengths to save face and will constantly be on their guard to avoid offending others.
Open confrontation is quite rare in Thailand and should it occur all protagonists would be deemed to have lost face. So great is the need to save face that lying is preferable to the embarrassment
of losing face or giving offence. To a western mind, this often seems petty and childish. I make no comment on the virtues or otherwise of face-saving other than to say that in all communications
with Thais, face should always be kept in mind. This applies as much in business and workplace environments as social situations. Asking a Thai employee to strongly complain to a Thai supplier
about shoddy products is not recommended, as this would place the employee in the position of having to offend that supplier. A common mistake many foreign employers make is to criticise a
Thai employee in front of other employees. The loss of face of even a mild rebuke in public would be a mortal blow to the Thai and whilst no outward sign of distress might be shown at the time,
major damage can be caused to the working relationship. Always try to engineer situations where your Thai associates do not lose face, or better still, where
they have the opportunity to gain face. For example, if one of your employees is late with a report they were asked to produce, indicate to them that you made a mistake and did not tell them
clearly enough that there was a deadline, and you would be very grateful if they could do some extra work to produce the report. By placing the blame on yourself, the Thai has saved face, and
will gain face by showing to his colleagues that he is trusted by the boss to perform beyond the call of duty.
The downside of face is that it can, and often is, taken advantage of, particularly in Thai / foreign national working relationships. The best course of action is to tolerate this behaviour unless and
until it has a detrimental effect. Then a quiet, private interview is in order and usually solves the problem.

3) “Phu Yai / Phu Noi” (Big Person / Little Person)
As discussed earlier, Thai society is extremely hierarchical; only 100 years ago it was a feudal society. Thais meeting for the first time will openly question each other about age, family status,
career, income, children, and other matters that western people would regard as very personal questions. Thais do this to establish their social position with their interlocutor – whether the
person they are talking to is of a greater or lesser social standing. This is the principle of phu yai / phu noi (big person / little person), a continuance of the feudal order that recently existed, and
consequently the appropriate behaviour to be adopted.
In any long-term relationship, both the phu yai and the phu noi have certain responsibilities to the other party. The phu yai is expected to look after the phu noi if they get into financial difficulties,
provide advice and guidance in social matters and generally to protect the phu noi in times of trouble. In return, the phu yai can expect from the phu noi loyalty, hard work, obedience, and
confidentiality. If this seems a very archaic relationship, for the Thais it seems to work very well and many Thais I have spoken to value the structure and security the relationship provides.

4) The Group And The Individual
Thais are not happy when alone and it is unusual for Thais to live or work alone. This is because they usually belong to a close-knit extended family and have established a network of affiliations
through their schooldays and working lives. For most Thais (in common with many other Asian cultures) the collective needs of the groups that they belong to will nearly always take precedence
over their individual wants and desires. In working or social situations, it is important to bear in mind this dislike of being alone. Wherever possible it is better to assign a task jointly rather than to have a single individual responsible for
carrying it out. Thais naturally love being part of a team and doing things together, and are generally much more productive than if they assigned to work alone.

5) Non-verbal communication
How you dress and project yourself, your general attitude and your facial expressions are a large part of human communication in most societies and this is especially the case in Thailand. Thai
people really do judge people by their appearances. Thais will generally “dress to impress” and a person’s apparel and accessories are very closely studied, hence the popularity of designer labels,
the latest mobile telephones and the most expensive jewellery. Thais will shun loud, overbearing, and boorish behaviour, whilst a polite and reserved manner will be favourably regarded. Facial
expressions and general body language are closely examined – an aggressive posture and scowl are not likely to invoke a positive response whilst an open stance and contented expression will be
seen as a display of friendliness and approachability. No analysis of non-verbal communication in Thailand would be complete without mention of the
Thai smile. Not for nothing is Thailand known as “The Land Of Smiles”, yet, like many other aspects of the country, appearances can be deceptive. There are in fact thirteen recognised types
of smile (in Thai, “yim”) that are used to convey a whole range of emotions:

Yim tak tai Polite smile, generally when greeting someone
Yim tang nam tah The smile of genuine happiness, pleasure
Yim cheun chom Smile of admiration for someone
Yim mee lai nai Smile used to cover up evil thoughts
Yim yor Mocking, taunting smile (much seen in soap operas)
Yim yak tan Smile of self-justification (“I’m right, you are wrong”)
Yim chuat chuan The smile of victory
Yim yair-yair The smile of regret
Yim soo The disconsolate smile of resignation
Yim hairng * The smile of regret for a misdeed *
Yim mai ork The “cannot smile” smile
Fuen yim The smile made under duress
Yim sao The smile used to cover up feelings of sadness
* “Yim hairng” is the smile that infuriates most foreigners. If a Thai waiter has totally messed up
your order and you confront him about it, he may respond not with words, but with a “yim hairng”
by means of apology. This is often interpreted by foreigners to mean that the Thai does not care or
is laughing at them. This misunderstanding is a cause of great conflict between Thais and foreigners.

6) “Kreng Jai” (Consideration)
Kreng jai (“Awe Heart”) is a fundamental aspect of Thai behaviour. Thailand has a worldwide reputation for being a country populated by extremely polite and considerate people, and this is to
a great degree true. Thais will expend a lot of energy to be considerate of others and not offend,in order to strive for the serenity and harmony that everyone wishes for.
Many long-term expatriates scorn the principle of kreng jai, citing blaring disco music heard everywhere, queue jumping, and awful driving manners as evidence that kreng jai does not in fact
exist. In fact, Thais put so much effort into maintaining harmonious relationships with their family, friends, and colleagues that they see no point in trying to do the same with people they don’t know
and are unlikely to meet again. The principle of kreng jai only applies if the Thai is speaking to another person directly or if they are likely to meet that person again. Otherwise, it’s every Thai
for themselves.
Kreng jai does cause considerable problems in the workplace, especially where the communication of difficulties are concerned. A Thai employee, knowing of a particular problem a week in advance
of a deadline, will prefer to wait until it is absolutely necessary to inform their superior of the problem, whereby the problem becomes even more serious. This is because the employee does
not want to disturb his superior’s sense of well-being and happiness by raising the problem. Thais often refer to this as “making noise”, and it is a source of great frustration to foreign (especially
Western) business managers.

7) “Sabaay Jai” (Well-being)
All Thais strive to achieve a state of sabaay jai (“Content Heart”), the state of well-being and serenity in their lives, and will go to great lengths to achieve this state. Many older Thais, after
many years at work, will give up the materialistic life and join the monkshood or dedicate themselves to the study of Buddhism. Even in everyday life Thai people value and will look for sabaay jai all
the time. This can mean something as simple as feeling relaxed in a favourite restaurant or going for a walk in a beautiful park.

8) Jai Yen (Cool Heart)
Jai yen, literally ‘cool heart’ is a major social inhibitor. The principle of jai yen is derived from the Buddhist teachings of existence as illusion, worldly desire as the path to disease, and emotion as
unhealthy attachment to the illusory world. The phrase jai yen is best translated as tolerance and forbearing, or the old-fashioned and late lamented “dignity”. Thai society is frenetic, noisy,
complicated, and tiring, and Thai people deal with the rigours of daily life by displaying patience and tolerance. It is a major social error to show too much emotion, whether anger, sadness, or
even happiness. The vicissitudes of life are dealt with by displaying jai yen.

9) Sanuk (Fun)
Put simply, Thais love to have fun, so much so that any activity, whether it is work, school, family gatherings, or sport, has to be fun or the Thais simply will not do it. While this is a slight
oversimplification, Thai people are much happier and more productive if the essential tasks they have to perform contain some element of fun. This natural sense of fun is one of the main reasons
that Thailand is such an enjoyable place to live.


10) Mai Pen Rai (Never Mind)
Closely associated with jai yen and face, the Thai attitude of “Never Mind” in nearly all situations is forever heard. The principle derives from a mixture of Buddhist doctrine explained earlier with
view of the world steeped in knowledge of the land and agriculture. For many Thais still working on the land, life is very simple. The field is prepared for planting, the planting is done, you wait for the
rice to grow, you harvest the rice, and you start again. Your actions are determined by the soil and the seasons and there is nothing you can do to change this cycle, so why worry about it? Mai pen
rai!

The Thai Mind/Heart

One of the words you will most often hear in Thailand is “jai”. Thais express the vast majority of emotional states by referring to ‘how the heart feels’. This is a very important part of understanding
the Thai people. Western philosophy has left a tradition of separating intellect from emotion in people’s thoughts and decision-making processes. The phrase “Don’t let your heart rule your
head” is a clear pointer to this legacy. Western behaviour, especially in business and the workplace, espouses a logical, analytical, non-emotional approach to affairs. This is anathema to Thais and
something that they find very difficult to understand. For a Thai person there is no distinction between intellect and emotion, they are parts of a whole, a “thinking/feeling” about every issue.
The word “jai” in the Thai language means a combination of the emotions and the intellect, the “mind/heart”. This is equally as difficult for Westerners to understand and one of the main causes
of misunderstanding between Thais and foreign nationals. Colloquial Thai reduces this to the heart.Understanding how a Thai feels, by learning some of the commonly used mind/heart phrases, is
an invaluable tool for getting along with Thais and understanding their behaviour. Below are some of the most common phrases:

Thai Phrase Literal Translation Western Meaning
Kreng Jai Awe Heart Consideration and respect for others
Khao Jai Enter Heart Understanding (including intellectual understanding)
Sabaay Jai Content Heart Well-being, contentedness, serenity
Jai Dee Good Heart Generous, helpful, thoughtful of others (a high compliment)
Jai Rawn Hot Heart Angry, annoyed
Jai Dum Black Heart Evil, wicked
Jai Lai Bad Heart Cruel, inconsiderate
Jai Keng Stone Heart Emotionally strong
Jai Deeo One Heart Faithfulness, loyalty (in love matters)
Jai Ooun Soft Heart Easily tricked or led astray, naïve
Sia Jai Regret Heart Sadness, melancholy, loss
Hen Jai See Heart Sympathy
For a more detailed examination of the mind/heart phrases, Christopher G. Moore’s fascinating
“Heart Talk” (Heaven Lake Press, 1998) contains detailed descriptions of over 500 (yes, 500!)
mind/heart phrases commonly in use. For more information go to
http://www.cgmoore.com/book/heart_talk.html


Understanding Thai Behaviour
Thai people are naturally fun loving and they can be brash and noisy when they let their hair down – which is often. Many foreign nationals become confused when seeing a group of Thai people
raucously enjoying themselves and then comparing this behaviour with the principles of kreng jai (consideration for others) and jai yen (remaining calm). This can be explained as a dynamic of
face, phu yai/phu noi, jai yen, and sanuk. Firstly, a group of friends will already have established the “pecking order” – who are the leaders and who the followers (phu yai/phu noi). They will have
tacitly agreed to forego the social inhibitions of a dignified bearing (kreng jai and jai yen) for the mutual pleasures of fun and well-being (sanuk and sabaay jai), and similarly will (up to a point)
put up with loss of face if that contributes to the group’s pursuit of fun. When judging the behaviour of Thai people, many factors need to be taken into consideration. This is a very complex business
and even after years of studying Thai behaviour, many foreign nationals (including it must be admitted, this author) can be confused by the way that Thais interact. This is one of the major
attractions of life in Thailand – however much you think you know, there is always something new to learn about the Thai people and their society. Unless you have lived in Thailand for most of your
life, you are unlikely to truly understand Thai culture, but trying is great fun.

Thai / Foreigner Relations
Thais have an ambivalent attitude towards foreigners and tend to be quite discerning when it
comes to stereotyping different nationalities. The Thais are a proud and highly nationalistic people
and can regard many non-Thais that they do not know with a mixture of friendliness, curiosity, and
suspicion. A common thread is that Thais believe all foreigners have a complete lack of knowledge
of Thailand and its culture. By behaving in a way that demonstrates even a small amount of
understanding of Thailand and its language, not only will you amaze those Thais around you but
gain some respect as someone who has made the effort to learn about them. If you follow the Thai
way, don’t try to be too boastful of the merits of your own country, and speak modestly about
yourself you should find yourself easily accepted into your circle of Thai acquaintances. However,
you will always be a foreigner and will rarely be fully accepted into Thai society. This is not to say
that lasting relationships cannot be forged; they can and when that does happen it can be very
rewarding. But the Thais are very good at feigning emotion and anyone moving to Thailand should
be aware that much of what they hear should be taken with a pinch of salt.
Sadly, foreigners are perceived by many unscrupulous Thais to be “fair game”, and there is a
lexicon of tales about foreigners being ripped off through shady business deals, land purchases,
and matters of the heart. The explosion of the tourism industry over the last thirty years, combined
with a frankly blasé attitude to spending or losing money displayed by a significant minority of
foreign visitors, has created an assumption amongst some Thai people that all foreigners are rich,
stupid with their money and deserve to fleeced. All foreign nationals should be aware that in
financial dealings, there is very little legal recourse and “caveat emptor” (let the buyer beware) is
the guiding principle. Be prepared for someone to try to rip you off almost every day, especially in
the big cities and towns. Many Thais believe that as a foreign national you should expect to pay
more than the locals for everything. This is even written into some aspects of government policy.
Entrance to Thai national parks is B200 ($5.00) if you are a foreigner and B20 ($0.50) if you are
a Thai. For example the Thai managing director of a large company in Bangkok, earning over
$200,000 per year, arriving in his brand new BMW, pays $0.50, while a student backpacker from
Sweden, who travelled by hot and sweaty public bus, pays $5.00. It is scandalous that Thai
government is reinforcing the stereotype. Whether, due to the severe downturn in tourism numbers
recently, the Thai authorities and people wake up to the fact that visitors are becoming tired of this
shoddy treatment remains to be seen.
As you get to be more well known and accepted as part of the community the instances of people
trying to take you for a ride will reduce. Once you have become recognised as a local, you can
expect the other members of the community to give you a lot of assistance should you experience
difficulties. This is particularly true if you are recognised as being “kon dee”, a good person who is
trying to fit into the community and is respectful of the Thai way of living. If you are fun loving and
willing to join in with the Thai pursuit of sanuk then you will also fit in very well.
Greeting People - The Wai
Most guidebooks mention that Thais greet each other with the hands-together, prayer-like gesture
known as the “wai”. What they do not mention is that, like every other form of Thai etiquette,
there is a complex code governing its use. The wai etiquette is firmly embedded in the code of phu
yai / phu noi described above.
The most important rule to follow is that if you are meeting a monk, a high government official, a
person of title, anyone in uniform, or a very old person, you must always wai, and you must always
wai first. Monks of any age, even young novices, must be given the wai, and will not wai back.
Other VIP’s and the elderly will normally give either a full wai (to foreigners) or a perfunctory wai
in return. This is not to say that you must wai if you see a monk on the street, but if you intend to
converse, the wai is obligatory. The next most important rule is that young children (below the age
of about 13) are never given a wai by adults. A simple smile suffices. When a child receives a gift
it is customary for the child to give the wai; again, adults should not wai back but simply nod,
smile and possibly say “Mai pen rai”.

When entering a shop or restaurant it is common for a waiter or doorman to greet you with a wai.
Returning the wai is not necessary as a nod and smile will do, but a perfunctory wai is a nice
gesture and will be appreciated. When receiving a check or change it is customary for the waiter
to give the wai – this must never be returned. When leaving the establishment you should again
receive a wai from the staff; a nod, smile, and “thank you” are enough. In the workplace, those
people of inferior position to you should wai first and you should wai back. Similarly a person of
higher rank than you should be wai’d by you, and you will be wai’d in return.
A general rule in normal social situations is that if you meet a person for the first time, try to judge
if that person is older or of a higher social status. If they are, wai first, if not, wait for them to wai.
People of equal age and status can wai at any time. Good friends and colleagues are allowed to
dispense with the wai altogether. If you a joining a social gathering it is polite and reasonable to
offer a general wai to the whole group first, and they will wai in return.
If all of this reads like an excerpt from “Miss Manners”, I make no apology. The wai is very
important and if you get it right you will immediately rise in the esteem of your Thai associates.
The wai code is quite easy to get the hang of and it certainly helps to get the most out of Thai life.
Don’t worry if you get it wrong a few times; the Thai people will appreciate that you are making
the effort.
Dress
Quite simply, dress to impress. Clothing is cheap in Thailand and most foreigners can afford to
look good. Dress for the occasion in stylish clothes. A suit worn on the beach will get you laughed
at but good, stylish beach gear will get you admiration. It is extremely bad manners and considered
very low-class to go around town or enter shops or office buildings shirtless or otherwise displaying
too much flesh. Thais are actually quite modest (you will see them bathing in the sea fully clothed).
I have seen one young tourist refused service in a bank because he was wearing just a pair of
swimming shorts and a pair of sandals. If you are visiting a temple, do not wear shorts, and
women should wear modest clothes with long sleeves. Dress up if you are visiting a government
office, as you really will be treated with more respect.
Office wear for men is generally the conventional suit and tie. If wearing a suit jacket is unbearably
hot then it can be dispensed with, and in some circumstances, even a tie is not required, if the
general appearance is smart and conservative. Office wear for women is generally a business suit
or a respectable skirt and blouse.
Other Social Niceties
These are just some of the more important social niceties to observe. There are many others, less
important and too many to list here. Picking these up along the way is one of the fun parts of
learning to live in Thailand.
Buddhism views the human body as a temple and this has given rise to two golden rules governing
social behaviour. Firstly, it is rude and offensive to touch people on the head. The head is the
highest part of the human temple and sacrosanct. Even patting the head of children, unless you
know them very well, is considered offensive. Conversely, pointing your feet at a person or object
is frowned upon, as is placing your feet on a table or any surface where food is served. Showing
the soles of your feet to a Buddha image is the height of disrespect. If you are sitting down in a
temple or in front of a monk, tuck your feet in under your legs (if this sounds difficult, watch how
the Thais do it and follow them). Women must not touch a monk or pass any object directly to him.
Where possible, objects should be passed from person to person with the right hand.
If you invite a party of Thai friends or colleagues to a restaurant or bar, you will be expected to pay
the bill. In certain situations, even if you were not the one making the invitations, you will be
expected to pay if you are the senior member of the party. Table etiquette is informal, apart from
ensuring that everyone has his or her fair share. Cover your mouth when using a toothpick. A
social taboo originating in China is leaving chopsticks sticking up from a bowl – this signifies
death. Placing food or drink on the floor if you are sitting at a table is considered disrespectful to

the host. Eating just the tastiest food and leaving rice on your plate is considered the height of
greed. Food should be placed in the mouth using only the right hand.
When walking between two people who are having a conversation, bow your head slightly and
lower your body (you don’t need to do this on the busy streets, just in enclosed spaces). Most
Thais insist that shoes are removed when entering their homes, and many shops and offices, also
enforce this rule.

There are many reasons why people move to Thailand. One of the main reasons is the low cost of living. It is possible to live very comfortably in Thailand on less than $1000 per month and many choose to retire to the country in order to make their retirement income stretch that little bit further. Those who are on a relatively low income in the west can have a larger house and domestic staff for the same money in Thailand.

Another reason for people wanting to go and live in Thailand is the laid-back lifestyle. Choosing a rural or tourist area is the preferred option for those looking for a different way of life and areas such as Phuket. The Thai culture is one that is very peaceful and relaxed and offers an escape from a busier way of life in the west. The crime rate in Thailand is relatively low and there are very few instances of serious crimes involving expats.

There are many expats that move to Thailand each year to start their own business. One of the reasons for this is that hiring staff is reasonably cheap and renting offices and paying for utilities will also not break the bank. Businesses are not really restricted in any way and the opportunities are there for those who want to work hard and achieve success.

While there are some areas of Thailand in which it would be difficult to obtain everything that you could in the west, in areas such as Bangkok you can find everything that you need, from western supermarkets to broadband internet, so your quality of life does not need to change when you move to Thailand.

The infrastructure of the country is relatively good when compared with some other Asian countries. It is only roads in remote areas that are not in good condition and it is possible to get almost anywhere in the country by public transport. Travelling around the country is very cheap so those who want to see something of this part of the world can do so without spending a lot of money.

Despite the image that Thailand has had in the past, it is not a third world country and aspects of life there such as education and health are just as good quality as they are in some western countries.

Expats are generally made very welcome in Thailand. The laws in the country are very strict and anyone who does not show respect to the country or the monarchy there will soon find themselves on a plane home. The Thai culture is one in which people have been brought up to respect others and this includes those from other countries. As already mentioned, there are few instances of serious crime against expats and the people are naturally very friendly. It has long been the country’s policy to make immigrants welcome.